Understand my background on this first, and then maybe it'll take the curse off of it, somewhat. I graduated fron high school in Lexington, Ky. Then spent the better part of 26 years there. College? University of Kentucky

My opinion of what there is to do in Ky.?

1. Drink = every ounce of bourbon is produced in Ky.

2. Horse races = very short seasons though

AND BASKETBALL = priorities go like this, Family, Religion, and UK basketball. Al Maguire once said, "The average UK fan knows as much about the game as the average coach." So like Indiana, Kentuckians eat, drink, and bleed basketball. Folks, you now understand some of why I am so tainted.

So hopefully you will understand why I am about to really stir up the pot.

Kids have jobs, just like we do. Going to school is their #1 full-time job.

Having fun and being a kid is their 2nd job. This is also a full-time job.

Their next job is to learn right from wrong, social values, and being a "person" of their word. I believe these are all connected. It's this aspect that I want to concentrate on.

When you signup for a team, humm, like a basketball team, maybe? When you sign up, the player and the parents are making a commitment to the TEAM and to the coach. This is a commitment, like it or not! A commitment to me is the exact same as promising to do something.

For this commitment to be fair, the coach should have a set of PUBLISHED RULES so everyone knows what they are commiting to. Verbal rules are useless! The problem with published rules is that everyone has to live by them, including the coach, their own child, and the superstars. No one is exempt, no exceptions to the rules you come up with. So, leave yourtself an escape clause or 2 that's fair to all.

Signing up to be on a team is a JOB.

1. You learn you duties and responsibilities. These are the team rules.

2. You learn how to do your job - the employer = coach, must teach them how to do the skills needed to perform their job. (Thru learning sessions, skill sessions, practices, whatever you want to call them,)

3. With a job you go to work and get paid. Hopefully you get paid according to the quality of the work, once you have learned the job. Work = GAmes, being paid is the amount of playing time a player gets. As a player gets older, the better they do their job, the more they get paid = the more playing time they get.

4. Your work job expects you to be at work on time, and give them a full day's effort. If you don't, they dock your pay, suspend you, or fire you. Think you can connect the dots with basketball here?

5. Signing up for a team is like taking a new job, you have to commit to both. A commitment is where you promise to do something, either verbally or in written form. You are either a "Person" of your word, or you're not. It's black and white to me, with no grey areas. (And I wonder why my daughter is anal retentive?)

I don't care if we are talking about 1st graders or 60 year olds. If you make a commitment, you live up to it, period. No matter how much you hate it, you live up to it! This part of the soul of a person, being a "Person" of their word! This is part of their character.

I consider all of this to be as important as school, family, or even religion. If you can't do what you say you will do, then you had better given it everything you have, to have tried to do it.

So when I get grief about about why someone was late, when the team rules clearly spell out the consequences, I am unbending! A wreck made us late, OK. But my mom or dad wasn't ready, just doesn't fly.

I coached a player for 4 years. She begged me to get our team into Gus Macker's 3-on-3 tourney. The week before the tourney she calls and can't make it because she doesn't want to be late for a dance. I understand hormones and this is a big deal, but she started the tourney idea and committed. I gave her a choice, basketball or late for dance. She's never played another game for me again. If you aren't going to be a person of your word, find another team and coach.

Basketball is a job that you commit to or you don't. It is not more important than school or family or your religion. But it doesn't have to interfere with any of them. CAn you say time management?

So when you give or get grief, ask yourself what commitment you have made and are you living up to that commitment. Flexible is a good word for real crisis things that exist = major test, car wreck, heart attacks, etc. But the everyday things are no excuse. You are either a person of your word or you're not. You coaches have a commitment, live up to it. You parents and players made a commitment, LIVE UP TO THEM. If not, QUIT!!!!!

MAybe this is why I have turned down several jv offers, I'm too right or wrong, and I know it!