The Revenge of Shaun, The Sneaky B-Baller

by ed riley copyright 2000


"Hey ref where'r yer glasses

You must be blind,

You know it's a foul

When you're pushed from behind!


I'm to be quiet

I'm to shut up?

Man O' Man

Where's your cane and your cup?


She's pushing and shoving

When you turn your back,

If this were football

You'd call it a sack!


What, you're going to warn me

But I'm not to blame?

If I open my mouth

I'm out of the game?


I see my coach

And he's waving to me,

But I can't wave back

I'm just too busy.


I have no idea

Why this ref's got a grudge,

I'm short and I'm cute

So why won't he budge?


I'll just get even

Yes that's what I'll do,

Do unto others

As they do unto you!


One thing's for sure

Bony elbows can hurt,

Instead of gym shorts

She'll wish for a skirt.


When I'm done with her

She'll be beggin for mercy,

And wishin she lived

In lower New Jersey.


I'll wait for the time

When I know I can trip her,

When the ref's not looking

I'll go low and clip her.


With the way this ref's actin

She must be his daughter,

It's a family that needs

To be led to the slaughter!


I'll pinch her and push her

I know that I'll poke her,

I'll step on her toes

And then I might choke her.


What? Oh Coach

You can't take me out,

Cause I haven't made

Her scream or her shout!


So I'm here on the bench

I hope not for long,

Cause there's a player out there

I've got to do WRONG!!!!!


But this gives me time

To update my plans,

She got me first

She drew a line in the sand.



Look, she's out there

Laughing and more,

Cause I'm on the bench

And she's on the floor.


Now she's done it

I'm really mad,

But I've still got time

To do something bad.


What is the worst

Thing I could do,

Something that makes

Her cry boohoohoohoo?


I know what I'll do

That'll make her look bad,

I'll out play her till

She knows she's been had!


I'll get every rebound

And every loose ball,

And that ought to make her

Feel two feet tall.


I'll score lots of points

And keep her to zero,

In my coach's eyes

I'll look like a hero.


She'll never touch the ball

Not even once,

I swear I'll make her

Look like a dunce!


And then I know

That she'll let out a holler,

Cause she'll of been had

By me, the Sneaky B-Baller!"